004. Where do I belong ?
It took me some time to build my thoughts on why I really left Copenhagen after a little more than a year. The short answer would be: I don’t think I belong there.
It’s interesting how so many things can change in just one year. How life can grow out of you. How you can build your dream life and, at the same time, feel like something is still missing. You leave your loved ones to move to a new place where, luckily, you know two people. Your mind is full of dreams, your eyes sparkling at all the new things, your heart warm and open to connection… and then one day, those feelings hit you with a simple question: why am I even here?
You lose the excitement, and you see very clearly that your place is not there.
But then, where is my place? Where do I belong?
You should always follow your dreams
There is something so beautiful and exciting in the concept of “just follow your dreams” following what makes you happy, what brings joy out of you.
I’ve never really seen myself living in the same place forever. I’ve been traveling from a very young age, and I know how lucky I am to be able to do so. So in 2024, after feeling stuck in my life, I decided that I needed to move again. But why Copenhagen? Why Denmark?
Apparently, according to the 2024 World Happiness Report, it’s one of the happiest places on earth… apparently
So here we are, Dahana moving to Copenhagen, following her dreams. To justify the move (and to integrate into the city), I also took a six-month unpaid internship — 9 to 5, every day (yes, I know…). I was working in faAaAaShIoOoOn. How cool is that?
So yes, I was following my dream but at what cost?
Literally, because this place is SO expensive !
The cost of my dreams
What are you willing to pay to follow your dreams? Because I truly believe that chasing your dreams will cost you something. The old you, for example. In my case, it was a mental cost and a financial cost.
When I imagined my life in Copenhagen, I saw myself going out every night, trying new restaurants, enjoying my weekends. Reality was different. I was working every day and had zero energy left afterward. And when I looked at my bank account after a month of “let’s go, money will come back,” I was surprised. On top of that, I didn’t have a Danish bank account, so every payment included currency exchange fees and to this day, I still don’t really know how much 300 DKK is in euros. Something like 40 euros? Anyway… money will come back one day.
I was following my dreams, but I felt deeply alone while doing it. Thanks to my friends, I wasn’t alone all the time but most of the time, I was. As that emptiness grew inside me, I started to understand that this wasn’t going to work for me. To be fully transparent, some days were hard. Sometimes, I wouldn’t go out for a whole week. I had nothing to do and no desire to be outside in that cold weather.
After my six-month internship, I decided to stay a bit longer so I could also experience the city in spring and summer. And I was right, it was lovely. I had the best time. But when summer started to say goodbye again, that’s when I decided I didn’t want to live by these cycles anymore. I was doubting, crying… and one day, I sent the email to give up my apartment, and the three-month notice was activated.
What’s next?
Right after that, a beautiful feeling appeared: excitement. The excitement of starting over again (well… not really, hehe). The excitement of packing everything and moving on. The excitement of having the freedom to do what was best for me.
Meeting amazing people, finding new opportunities, discovering a new city, and having a foot in the fashion industry (not only as a content creator) was a true delight. I have zero regrets. I fully enjoyed every moment. What makes me even happier is knowing that I did it all by myself. I didn’t wait for anyone’s permission.
I just did it.
What’s next for me is finding peace again. I have a lot of projects I want to bring to life, but I know that things take time. I’m working every day toward my dreams and making things happen for myself. One thing is for sure: I need to be back on Substack and nurture my creativity without any fears.
Someone once messaged me asking me to share my experience. I always feel a bit conflicted about sharing something so personal, because we all experience things differently. As a Black woman, growing up in a country with a lot of diversity, I did not feel seen in the way I was used to in Copenhagen. My experience as a person of color would naturally be different from a white woman, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a fact. Because being in an environment where no one looks like you can have an impact on your mental health.
Copenhagen is a beautiful city to visit or to stay in for a long period of time. Just keep in mind that everything is expensive. The overall vibe is nice and very aesthetically pleasing, but living there day to day is quite different. Since I moved, I haven’t had a single regret, and that’s how I know I made the right choice. Besides, I’ll continue to go to Copenhagen at least twice a year for Fashion Week.
I’d say that’s enough.
This city allowed me to discover and experience a version of myself that I had never known before, quite challenging, but overall beautiful. I cried, laughed, and lived life enough to understand that I don’t belong there, and I’m very grateful for that.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading my thoughts. Thank you for allowing me to exist in your world too. I hope you are doing well. Take good care of yourself.
I’m perpetually in a state of ‘I don’t want to be here, but I don’t know where I want to be’ so I feel you! I’ve lived in a few different places but none quite feel like ‘it’ for me.
so many things hit the point, thank you for sharing!